I have been invisible and large for so long I have no idea how to handle all the attention. And if that wasn't bad enough, the ONE person I want to be proud of me and tell me I look good couldn't care less.
I need to remember why I started this journey. Why, after 45 years of apathy I decided to take charge of my life and actually live it. There are days where I measure myself on how I think people feel about me or view me. If I go by that scale I'll never measure up because I need to change how my "programming" works. The current program that "runs" me always assumes the worst. I don't measure up. I'm not good enough. I haven't tried hard enough. I need to change the program to be more positive. I do measure up. I am good enough. I have tried really hard. So many years of negativity are hard to overcome, especially when it is me repeating it over and over in my head. I do pretty good most days lately but its always so easy to slip backward. But I am on a journey...I've not reached the end yet and I hopefully have a long time to overcome these challenges!